Yes I decided

Well I have been thinking about something for a few weeks now and couldnt quiet figure out what to do about it, funny thing is I didnt even talk to my therapist about it and thats strange. I guess with all the things going on this was something that I didnt put too much thought into until now. I was doing the pros and cons with Mo and we kinda came up with the same things. I guess if you know anything about me then you can already know what my goals are in life and also my set backs that I have been faced with most recently. I was looking for signs here and there and today was the most amazing signs I have ever seen. I could have looked at them in many different ways other than what they obviously were but I took them in the right way. I actually got on my knees tonight in my room alone and prayed on it, asking God to please guide me like he always does but truly make this happen for me. You can never expect things to just happen for you, you have to put forth some type of effort to see some kind of outcome. At the end of the day no matter what happens from here on out I will remain focused on my goal and will never stop until its actually in process. I feel confident and also happy. I was wondering if this was temporary, if this was something I was just feeling right now but once I got on my knees then everything came together. I am kinda sad right now because its like when you want things to work out you wish they would just work out right now but its not going to happen like that everything in life worth having is truly worth working towards so I will work. Mo happens to be the only one who knows about whats going on in my life, I guess thats what happens when your only true friend is your girlfriend....wow that brought me to another subject. So I have been thinking about a few people these days and watching them in their lives (or at least what I know of it) and I don't miss any of them. I am wondering if that is weird or if there is something wrong with that but it isnt. Some people arent needed in your life, anyone who can bring pain, stress, or a level of confusion in your life isnt needed. I only want people who know exactly what they want and are on the path of getting it in my life. I don't have time for wishy washy stuff right now. Goal oriented focused people. I can't stand those who bow down for others in the name of "love" like really life is about making things right for yourself and allowing yourself to be happy. Yes others can matter but I refuse to change who i am for someone else. I can change the bad things or the things that arent productive but I will never become less than for anyone. Hmm anything else I want to talk about today? Yes let me talk about the fact its 10:44pm my girl just got out the shower and ummm well yall know the rest lol. OOMMMGGGG I have a sex story to share that will truly be out of this world but I am not ready for that one yet lol I will keep that in the personal journal for now. Ok so i am going to go relax and then get some sleep tomorrow is another day faced with challenges and blessings. I will continue to be focused and on the grind but I wont allow myself to be stressed about it. Ok...nii nii all