My Saturday night...

So this weekend was the opening night of the club and its been long time coming. My business partner and I have been back and forth due to person issues. Last night I have to say I had a lot of fun and although the turn out wasn't what I expected I still had fun and shared some laughs with people. Im laying here on the couch at 2:30 pm just woke up from a nap and I feel in thought but good. A lot happened this year the first thing was me and my ex breaking up because my cheating ways. What's good about that situation is that it finally taught me a lot more than it ever has. I have always been a cheater and I have asked myself why several times but then I got to a point where I just felt justified because of my upbringing. Yet this year I had to stop making excuses I had to own up to the fact regardless as to how I was raised, what was done to me, or the things I saw im an adult and I am accountable for my actions. They say if u are truly in love with someone you won't cheat and maybe that's true but also being in love with yourself and respecting the one your with. My sex drive was also an issue not really because I wasn't getting it from the women I was with but more I had a desire to sleep with different women. I no longer feel that way and while its kinda strange at the same time I can't question why I just accept it because its a good thing. Im not that into relationships like that because I always see relationships as someone minimizing their values to be with another and thats something I am not willing to do. The one thing my current girlfriend has helped me to do was stop dealing with those who don't matter to my life and who only want one thing from me. Yes I am grown and can make my own decisions but she has truly helped me in a lot of ways. I can say I have never cheated on her nor do I plan to because I am in a different place and also she allows me to be me with a level of understand also I simply wouldn't disrespect her like that in this point in my life. You never know why u r the way u r or why people love u so much but im thankful for all my past girlfriends and now for my current she truly takes my mind and body to another level. I don't know where this year will bring me but I do know im in a better place romantically and I am happy there. I no longer have regrets more like learning lessons. If you are somewhere you dont' want to be you will always make moves to get out of that place in any way you can no matter how harsh it may be. I have made some choices to do things differently and I am happy about my choices. I have let go of any ill feelings in my past and I am a better person for it. I don't feel the need to reach out to old flames because truly if they meant something to me they would still be my girl now...right? I am HAPPY...not in the place I want to be in my life but in such a better place than I was before and so on the right track I am amazed with myself. School starts soon and that was well comming. *deep breath* I am ok.....and I am ok with being ok...*smile* I can finally smile at myself at night knowing I am doing what I am supposed to be doing at this very moment.