thats it

Life showed me something today. I am a strong stern person but even the strongest man can be broken. I have been going through some things and thinking on some other things and today everything hit the fan for me. I have a habit of allowing things to happen that I don't agree with just because I know in the end it will be worth it, but worth it at who's expense. Today I was hurting, today I cried uncontroably and that's not something I do often. There is a reason I don't cry and this is a reason why changes have to be made. People can blame others for their short comings but when you continue to beat someone down until they can't be around you then its time for me to walk away. No one deserves to be hurt even if they aren't the best person in the world. I have done my shit but I'm still human and deserve love and respect and if you can't give me that then respect the fact I want nothing to do with you. There are some people who have come through my path that have been bothered by my ways in some form and at the end of the day can say "hey neeve that was some bullshit but I love u" (u know who u are) and there are others who feel the need to remind me everyday how fucked up I am. I need to say this I did bad things hell I still do but I'm in a place where I don't need someone bringing me to where I was a few hours ago. If you can't just simply love me I would rather walk away. Tonight I'm sad, hurt, and want nothing more than to just go to sleep...wishing someone would just understand to love me is to forgive me, and to care for me is to let the past go or simply respect me enough for us to walk away peacefully. I can't continue to deal..there is too much going on. My therapist is going to be so mad at this one. Lesson learned..again