The new year begins......soon

I figured I haven't written in a while so no time like now to kind of put a few thoughts out there about this year. This year started off rocky just like most of my new years do, I had an idea of what I expected from myself and wanted to meet a few goals but as the year went on I had to start being more realistic about what I wanted and what I needed from my life. I kinda started this year off with some drama between my ex and I due to me realizing she wasn't what I needed from life, she wasn't helping me move in the right direction she never has really. I am a strong person and do what I need to do but sometimes I can get side tracked and do things that make no sense at all so I had to get her out of my life also I was getting more serious about Cat, and that was a conflict because I didn't want to do the whole go from one to the other so Cat and I spent 10 months dating and then entered in a relationship when we were both ready. Since we have been in this relationship things have changed so drastically a change I never saw happening and that's the situation with the kids father. He has been a hindrance for such a long time and I have allowed him to be that to me because that's all I really knew, now things are so different and I love the direction things are going in. She saw he was taking advantage of my easy going ways, his never paying a dime in child support, his choosing what times and dates to see the kids, him having full control over the situation she stepped in talked to him, organized a meeting for all of us to come to a common ground so I am not always the one who has to bow down. I really feel comfortable where things are and as we are signing papers right now things are just looking that much better for all of us. I am amazed that she gave me the strenght and courage to do something I always talked about but never felt like I could. I am now in such a better mental space than I have been in more than 12 years and while I am the one that did it she gave me the strength and for that I am forever thankful. There is so much more to come this new year and I can't wait to get them going. She is my rock.....truly. I have also taken a step back and become a better parent not trying to be their friend but giving them structure and children need that and I love our relationship. I also have a new confidence that I feel inside me that I love. I am still growing and learning and I love that. For the first time I am not the same old Neeve yet the new Geneva that I have grown to love and appreciate. Tonight is important to me for many reasons, a new year with the woman I truly love. She is amazing...don't get me wrong things are perfect hell we still fuss and argue but I wouldn't give her up for all the M&M's in the world. Looking forward to spending a life time just as I am spending it now.

This year will start off as it never has before. Money in my pocket, money in the bank, kids healthy and happy, me as happy as I have ever been, being in love truly for the first time deeply in love with the woman of my dreams, loving life, loving myself, looking forward to a memorable year with high hopes that WE will accomplish together. I never saw this coming, but now that its here I don't see how I went without it. Love is something to be cherished something I will always keep focused on. Cat is an amazing woman, shame the women before me didnt see it but thats how I know God was saving her just for me.