Does it start how it ends

So I know i have talked about being move involved with my blog and trying to update more often but really with the way my life is going its not that I don't have time to blog its more that I don't have the interest to sit down and talk about things so i just continue on knowing I will do an update sooner or later. I like blogging when I have something specific to talk about instead of just ranting on and on like I have seen on some blogs that leads to losing your readers so now that's its a new year I figure I would do some kind of update on life and where things are. So here goes.

Today is Jan 1st 2011 and I am sitting at the desk thinking about how the last year went and all its up and downs and where life is now and where I would like for it to be by the next year. They say you never will know where you are going until you know where you came from so instead of looking back way into my past I will just look into the past year and see what I can change and what my goal and determinations will be for this year. Right now i feel so focused and want to move on past the negative and get to the things that truly matter so this may be a long one while I sit and go back to all the events and kinds of go full circle and see what can be done differ net this year.

Jan of 2010 I was in a horrible place in life trying to make moves and quick. I had lost litterly everything that meant something to me and for a lot of reasons I cant go into what I had lost here but anyone who has followed my life knows what was going on and at that time I felt like I was on a time schedule where i had to make moves really quick and me moving quick is asking for disaster to occur and it did. I knew what needed to be done but had no way of knowing how the hell to get there so I made a lot of wrong moves but all in the right direction. In the process of making moves I landed a job at Verizon and was in the process of moving back to CT where I have always felt like home was every since I moved to RI so I worked hard at coming back here stopping at nothing to make it happen overnight and again that's where i mess up. All in all I did what I set out to do and that's regain my family, get a job in ct and also get a new apartment. That was all completed by April and I felt like things were going in the right direction and then the summer time hit and I realized i moved into the worst area of town and then I spent everyday trying to move and figure out why things were going so wrong when all I wanted was the right things in life. I prayed and prayed and asked for help in life and what I didn't have was patients that's something i have always lacked in life and that led to a lot of nights being upset and wondering why I was back at square one again. A lot of praying and planning led me to move into an amazing 4bedroom condo, and with the assistance of a friend I was able to continue working, put the children in great schools and have the support of friends and a nice place. At the very end of this year I met someone who was very different from anyone i had ever known before and really its was a strange occurrence because of the way we met and now its an instant friendship. I really look up to her and her way of life, she has a lot of knowledge and wisdom I take her words seriously and her advice means a lot to me. See where I have always went wrong is because I have such a strong personality I tend not to listen to other people because I always feel like there advice is bias and they have something to gain from trying to help me but she really has nothing to gain except trying to help someone she cares about and that's a great thing. I now have an understanding of what I would like to do different this year and that's simply spend more time planning things instead of just jumping and doing things, spend more time thinking than doing, also school starts in a few weeks and i feel I'm always my strongest when i am doing what i do best and thetas learning and working on being in a better financial place.

The one thing I have learned this year is to love me....and those around me...never use or abuse the ones you love and care for, treat everyone with respect and understanding.

Right now I know in life I will succeed I just hope I have a wonderful woman to share this experience with......time will tell.

God bless