Traveler

I'm laying in my bed getting ready to go to sleep at 9pm, that's the time I go to bed now with me having to get up at 4am to prepare for work each day. I am thinking to myself its "exactly 30 days til 9-2-10" and there are so many things going on in my life. I am thinking about the past 5 years and how the last two have taken a turn for the worse. I am traveling down a road that seems like its a never ending spiral downhill. I can't seem to travel upward and when I do the hill gets harder and harder to climb. For now I know my journey is hard yet at the end rewarding but when is that end coming. When will this spiral stop winding and start be straight and consistent. I am tired of not knowing what left to make or when to turn right. I look to no one for direction but myself I am my own navigational system my own self taught gps yet I am still acquiring satellites I am still waiting for someone to plug me in their car lighter because my battery is oh so low. They say you don't know where you going if you don't remember where you came from. How can I make sure I don't end up on the same Hell street I was born, the Pain ave I was raised, and the Hurtful city I played in. How can I keep my children from playing on the abused playgrounds, and playing with the petifiled toys and the deathwish roller coasters. See the life I dream of is a life I have never seen so knowing where I come from doesn't ensure I won't remain there but forgetting where I came from and pretending I know where I am going gives me hope. This journey has seen me slowly lose all power all strength all will but the reason I continue to fight and gas up my car to keep driving up that hill is for them and no matter how many times my tires give out and the gas tank is on E and my engine light comes on I won't stop driving until THEY are where they belong.